metaphysx

When We Last Left Our Hero…

… having waited a few hours for life to evolve to the point of inventing cigarettes, coffee and commercial television, he had stopped off at planet Bookoo for gas. He was now on his way to seek adventure… somewhere.

Unbeknownst (I’m pretty sure that’s a word) to Brad (our hero, aka “Fred”) life on Bookoo had coincidentally evolved, though quite a bit faster, exactly as it did on his home planet of Hell (which is similar in almost all respects to my home town). As Brad pulled away from Bookoo, full of gas and in search of adventure on his holiday, so did a duplicate of himself, named Brad (this will be confusing I’m sure), from the planet Bookoo.

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The Story of the Earth

Millions and millions of years ago, large vertibrates roamed the Earth and ate plants and sometimes each other. Eventually, these animals and plants died.

Millions and millions of years passed, and various natural processes turned these animals and plants into a thick, black sludge that, today, we call oil.

One day, these hairless monkeys, who now were the dominant species on Earth, developed a means for seperating classes of monkeys based on how many little green slips of paper they had. The monkeys with a lot of green slips of paper were called rich and powerful. Those monkeys with less, well, they didn’t really matter much. It just so happens that these monkeys really liked this black sludge. To them, having lots of black sludge was just like having lots of little green slips of paper. So, if one had a lot of black sludge, one was rich and powerful.

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Miscellaneous Streaming Thoughts

I’m sitting here listening to some techno music streamed from a site I’ve never heard of by an artist whose name I’ll never know and whose CD I’ll never buy. I also flip the channels or sometimes even get up from my chair during commercials. Hence, I am a criminal… a thief… and deserve to be punished as such.

Ok, ok. I’m bored and can’t think of anyone to pick on.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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A typical Saturday morning…

I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was a slab… a delectable slice… of Spam™ on a white, Corning plate, oozing with the gelatinous slime unique to that canned conglomeration of meat by-products.

Then I woke up. I took a sip from a steamy cup of fresh, black coffee. I opened a new pack of cigarettes and ran one under my nose. Oh, how I enjoy the smell of the fresh tobacco. I put one to my lips.

Then I woke up… again!

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